I reworded Don McLean's "American Pie" a few years ago so that it would be about the possible dissolution of the party in the 2015 election.
Last week I tweaked it in case of... Well... What happened on Thursday night.
Any way, here it is...
A long long time ago
I can still remember how Nick Clegg made me feel,
An' I knew that if I had my chance,
That He could make a difference
An' maybe we'd be happy for a while.
But 2015 made me shiver
With every Focus I deliver
Bad news on the doorstep
I couldn't take one more step
I can't remember if I cried
When I read of the rise of Nige,
But something touched me deep inside,
The day our party died.
So bye-bye Liberal Democrat dreams
Got the party into power
But it all got messed up
And Labour lords were drinking whiskey and rye
Singing this will be the day that you'll die.
This will be the die that you'll die.
Did you read the Orange book?
And do you have faith in Clegg and co?
If Libdemvoice tells you so.
And do you believe in liberalism
Can Gladstone save the country's soul?
And do you still lament Lloyd George?
Well I know that we all agreed with Nick,
Because I saw it on your Twitter feed,
We wanted him to win,
Cos' we're not sure of Cameron's blues!
I was a lonely Liberal Democrat
With a yellow rosette and orange book,
But I know I was outta luck in May in 2015,
I started singing,
So bye-bye Liberal Democrat dreams
Got the party into power
But it all got messed up
And Labour lords were drinking whiskey and rye
Singing this will be the day that you'll die.
This'll be the day that you'll die.
Now for five years we've been on our own,
And Labour have been throwing lots of stones
But that's not how it used to be,
When Nick Clegg was on our TV
With a speech he borrowed from Paddy
And a voice which came from you and me,
And while Gordon Brown was left to frown,
Nick Clegg stole Cameron's thorny crown,
The country was adjourned,
No Government was returned!
And while Liam Bryne wrote that note
The Tories gave us a ruling part
We started cheering for Clegg
The day, the Coal'tion came
But they were singing
So bye-bye Liberal Democrat dreams
Got the party into power
But it all got messed up
And Labour lords were drinking whiskey and rye
Singing this will be the day that you'll die.
This'll be the day that they die.
Helter-skelter
in that summer swelter
Some of us fled to a fall out shelter
The deficit was high and raising fast
We pulled unemployment to the grass
The Tories tried for a tuition rise
With Nick Clegg on the sidelines in a gag
The outside world held its breath
Surely we'd uphold our pledge?
We all got up to shout
But the MPs never threw it out
As the students tried to take the field
The Tories & Clegg refused to yield,
Do you recall how you felt,
The day that Cleggo lied?
Labour were singing;
bye-bye Liberal Democrat dreams
Got the party into power
But it all got messed up
And Labour lords were drinking whiskey and rye
Singing this will be the day that you'll die.
This'll be the day that they die
And there we all were in one place
Liberal Democrats lost in space,
With no time left to start again,
So come on Clegg be nimble,
Clegg be quick,
Nick Clegg lost out to Nige's UKIP
'Coz of the whole student thing
An' as I watched Nige on the stage,
My fists were clenched in balls of rage,
No angel forged in hell,
Could break Farrage's spell,
An' as their polls rose high on the night,
Our party was a sacrificial lamb,
I saw Labour laughing with delight,
The day, our party died
They were singing;
bye-bye Liberal Democrat dreams
Got the party into power
But it all got messed up
And Labour lords were drinking whiskey and rye
Singing this will be the day that you'll die.
This'll be the day that they die
I met a girl who ran for the Blues,
And I asked her for some happy news,
But she just smiled and turned away,
I went down to the Gunwharf count,
Where we would see if we'd got in,
But the council result was already out,
In the street the children played
Whilst the Liberals cried and tried to dream,
Not a word was spoken,
They say our pledge was broken,
And the three men I admire the most,
Clegg, Danny and Doctor Vince
They found themselves outta luck
The day, the party died,
And they were singing
So bye-bye Liberal Democrat dreams
Got the party into power
But it all got messed up
And Labour lords were drinking whiskey and rye
Singing this will be the day that you'll die.
This'll be the day that they die
And we were singing;
So bye-bye Liberal Democrat dreams
Got the party into power
But it all got messed up
And Labour lords were drinking whiskey and rye
Singing this will be the day that you'll die.