Saturday, 15 September 2012
My friend has a habbit of sending me Clegg jokes and I thought I'd share a couple:
I went in to Libdem HQ to buy a couple of Candidate badges. I went up to the desk and ask the receptionist if she has any Libdem merchandise.
Sorry we've sold out she said.
I know, but do you have any badges.
Nick Clegg walked into a branch of HSBC to cash a cheque. As he approached the cashier he said;
Good morning, could you please cash this check for me?
Cashier: It would be be my pleasure Sir. Could you please show me your ID?
Clegg: Well I didn't bring any ID with me as I didn't think there was any need to. I am Nick Clegg the Deputy prime minister!!!!
Cashier: I'm sorry sir but with all the new regulations, monitering of the banks because of impostors and forgers ect I must insist on proof of identity.
Clegg: Just ask anyone here at the bank and they will tell you, everybody knows who I am.
Cashier: I am sorry Deputy Prime Minister but these are the bank rules and I must follow them.
Clegg: But I need this cheque cashing today.
Cashier: Well there is something you might be able to do. One day Colin Montgomery came into the bank without ID. To prove he was Colin Montgomery he pulled out his putting iron and made a beautiful shot across the bank into a cup. With that shot we knew him to be Colin Montgomery and cashed his cheque.
Another time Andy Murray came in without ID. He pulled out his tennis racquet and made a fabulous shot where the tennis ball landed in my cup. It could surely be no one else. So sir, what can you do to prove that it is you and only you, as the Deputy Prime minister?
Clegg thinks for a while and finally says; I honestly can't think of a single thing I am good at.
Cashier: Will that be large or small notes Mr Clegg?
Angela Merkel arrives in Paris airport and reports to customs.
Customs officer: Nationality?
Merkel: No just here for a few days.